


Shattered Dreams

by Tarlan



Series: Fire and Ice [1]
Category: Ice Men (2004)
Genre: Adultery, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-07
Updated: 2006-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-14 12:27:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bryan reflects on the past, present and future after being caught with Vaughn's wife, Renee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered Dreams

Bryan hated himself for the weakness that had left him open to Renee's charms. He knew it was both stupid and dangerous when she came onto him as soon as they were alone in the room together but, as always, she managed to wrap him around her finger, her eyes undressing him long before her graceful fingers found the buttons and fastenings to his clothing. She undressed him with deft movements, drawing the clothes from his body while her own were merely dislodged. God, he loved her bottom, loved her belly and her breasts -- smooth and creamy breasts with nipples that tightened to peaks as he rubbed over them with his hands -- though she kept them covered this time, stripping him naked but keeping most of herself covered. He had moved between the circle formed by her legs and the pants pushed down around her ankles, surrounded by her as he slipped into her wetness. She wanted him the way Heather had wanted him once, before their life had turned so shitty, dictated to by her mother and sister. She wanted him, all of him, and not just the eight inches of hard flesh he shoved between her legs to fuck her. God but she was incredibly hot and tight but even as he rocked into her, feeling the pleasure rising with every deep stroke, he knew he was being manipulated, knew he was being a fool.

Vaughn was his friend, his best friend for most of his life, and Renee was Vaughn's wife.

Despite her honeyed words, Bryan knew Vaughn still loved her -- or at least he loved her as much as he was willing to show love to anyone. He knew from their talk in the kitchen area that Vaughn had not been the one to look for something outside of his marriage, that he had not wanted to, had not thought he needed to. With numbed fingers and an alcohol fuzzed brain, Bryan had struggled with both the beer cap and his guilt, wanting to open up more than just that bottle. He wanted to confess and almost did but, for once, the lawyer in Vaughn was not concentrating on words and Bryan had almost begged him to look at him. Just one glance and Vaughn would have read the guilt on his face.

Her moaning grew louder as he fucked her harder and he tried to shush her, pleading with her to stay silent. He knew Vaughn would hate him forever if he caught them like this but he could not stop himself from having her. Too long, he had denied himself the attentions of another; too long he had denied himself the feel of another human being touching him, wanting him. She argued with him, belittling his concern that Vaughn and the others were only the span of a thin wooden wall away.

Why? She could have driven up here any day next week so why today? Why had she come while Vaughn and all Bryan's friends were here? He cursed himself. He should never have called her last night. He had promised not to call her again except to arrange to drop off the possessions she wanted from this cabin. He had promised *himself* that he would stay away from her until then, and that he would not weaken his resolve, not even for a goodbye fuck.

Why had she seduced him here? Did she want them to get caught?

"Come with me..."

"I'm trying..."

"To Vancouver."

That thought shocked him out of the lust driving him near senseless. He stared down into her 'ice queen' face from a position he had not been in for over a week, not since the day she broke off their affair with her announcement of her intention to leave for Vancouver. Last week she had made it clear that she wanted a fresh start, a clean break; new city, new job, new friends... new lover. She had made it clear that they were over, telling him to go back to his perfect wife and their new dog, telling him she no longer wanted him. At the time, he had convinced himself that if she had asked him to come with her then he would have packed his bags and left Heather. Now, with the stark reality in front of him, and with his memory of Vaughn's pain stabbing into his heart and gut, Bryan knew he did not love Renee, did not want to be with her.

Torn by his thoughts, he could not resist as she flipped him over onto his back and straddled him, trying to fuck herself on him even as his dick softened inside her. Confused, he struggled internally, the final decision ripped from him as the door opened behind him.

"You fuckers!"

His worst nightmare was realized and, in that moment as Renee looked up at her husband in triumph, Bryan knew she had manipulated him like a master at the chessboard. He knew she had intended for them to get caught all along. She had decided that she wanted him to go with her to Vancouver with her after all and then ensured he had little choice by destroying all that remained for him here... his marriage and his friendships.

"Then why are you fucking my best friend!?"

As he stood beside the fridge holding the sheet tight around his naked body, he listened to the pair argue over him like a possession. When Renee announced Vaughn's contempt for him in an attempt to sway Bryan to her side, he realized in shock that, as much as Vaughn loved Renee, he valued their friendship more. She stalked towards him, her eyes widening when he pulled back from her mentally, a silent answer given to her question, that he was not going to leave with her, not this cabin and not for Vancouver. The hurt in her eyes stung him as she snatched her bag from atop of the fridge, dislodging the pastry box, which crashed to the floor upside down. Shocked and bewildered, he watched as she stormed outside. Then, at a loss for what to do, he reached down for the box that Vaughn had taken off him so determinedly yesterday only to freeze at Vaughn's command, like the puppy dog Vaughn had accused him of being through Renee's harsh words.

Vaughn would not let him pick it up, would not let him do anything to atone for what he had done. Instead, Bryan swallowed what remained of his pride and walked back to 'his' room to pull on his clothes, slumping back onto the bed, too confused and shocked by his own stupidity to know what to do for the best. Part of him screamed at him to leave, to get in his car and go, to follow Renee to Vancouver if need be because he had nothing left here now. He was thirty years old today and he felt as if more than just his marriage was over; his life was over too.

Yet, part of him could not abandon the friendships he had known from childhood, silently hoping that something could be salvaged from the mess he had made with Renee. Torn between hope and despair, he obeyed Steve's voice and came back to the main room, accepting the gifts that should have marked the passing of his thirtieth birthday joyously, being the last of the four of them to reach this auspicious age where boyhood seemed left behind forever. Vaughn was noticeable by his absence, leaving Bryan little cause to celebrate despite Steve and Jon's gentle support. Even Trev tried to be kind considering Bryan had just been caught fucking his brother's wife but then, there was no love lost between Trev and Renee.

The contents of the pastry box became clear to Bryan now as he gazed down at the ruined cake, able to make out only a little of the wording but mentally filling in the gaps.

Some fucking birthday, he thought morosely as he put out the candles with his drink and dropped the ruined cake onto the coffee table. Ruined... just like his birthday. Just like his life.

As Steve mangled a song on the handmade guitar, Bryan snatched it from him and tried to sing a song he had written recently but his heart was no longer in it and he knew it. His friends all offered the right platitudes but the truth lay dark and heavy between them, brought into the glaring light of the day by Vaughn's harsh words.

"You're a crap songwriter and a lousy singer."

Bryan put aside the guitar and approached him, knowing he would find no absolution for his despicable acts against his friend and yet he still wanted to know if there was even a spark of friendship left between them.

"So why did you buy me the guitar?"

The sucker punch to the gut caught him unawares, the shock of seeing so much anger in Vaughn's eyes holding him as the fist stuck his face, knocking him down but, as he lay on the floor, curled around his aching belly with a hand jammed against his sore face, he knew he had seen more than anger at his betrayal with Renee glinting there. He had seen the mask slip to reveal the lifelong friend who would sit and listen to his crappy songs and lousy singing just because he *was* his friend.

Bryan never felt smaller, never felt more humbled in his life, and any doubts he had about following Renee to Vancouver faded. Vaughn had said he had to choose sides and, though he had not truly recognized it, he had chosen Vaughn when he let Renee leave the cabin without him. He had chosen his childhood friend over her warm body, soft curves and ice-cold beauty.

No one helped him back to his feet, the silence so thick that you could cut it with a knife. They cast their eyes aside as he looked from one face to the next, not condemning him but certainly not condoning his actions either. Vaughn sat down in the elk chair that had been his father's pride of place, jaw set like granite, eyes hard as stone, refusing to look at Bryan, and that hurt more than any physical blow to gut or face.

The silence was broken by the sound of the projector casting images of their childhood up onto the white sheet screen, drawing the occasional bitter laugh of remembrance as they looked with world-weary eyes upon those lost days of innocence. A seemingly casual remark from Trev sent Steve walking away, tight-lipped and stiff with anger. Jon followed and only minutes later, the final dirty secrets oozed through the cracks of their lifelong friendship, spilling bitter recriminations and accusations.

Bryan could take no more this day, seeing every remaining friendship within the room shattered and knowing they had all played a role in the destruction. He stormed off to his room, hesitating on the threshold as he took in sheet bundled up on the floor from where he had dropped it earlier, with the rest of the bed rumpled and the air scented with Renee's cloying perfume. Uncaring, Bryan dropped onto the bed fully clothed, curling up into a ball and closed his eyes tightly as tears burned inside, squeezing between his eyelids to slide down the side of his nose and face. Finally, he slept.

The sound of gunshots from a handgun brought him back to consciousness and it took a moment for the full ramifications from the previous day to sink in before desperate shouts of Trev and Vaughn brought him running into the main room to see Steve racing towards the ice rink Trev had created the day before. Steve fell down to his knees at the far edge beside the enlarged hole in the ice. Bryan could see no sign of Trev and, worse still, no sign of Vaughn. He stared into the man-sized hole in the ice, trying to discern any shapes or movement, heart thumping in his chest from fear until a dark head resurfaced, dragging another body with him. They hauled Trev's seemingly lifeless body out onto the ice and Bryan left Steve and Jon to deal with that crisis as he reached for Vaughn, using all his strength to drag him from the icy water that threatened to swallow him up again.

Desperate seconds passed where Bryan was convinced Trev had drowned before a gurgle and a choked off cry came from the prone man. Short-lived relief flooded through Bryan because the danger had not passed. Hypothermia killed too, and Trev must have been in the water for several minutes, his core temperature dropping to near fatal levels. They had to warm him up quickly and the conspiring events that had persuaded Vaughn to allow them to heat up the hot tub proved to be Trev's salvation as Jon and Steve pulled his near frozen body into the desperately needed heat of the water. Bryan did not need to be ordered to check after Vaughn and as he dropped to his knees before his best friend, Bryan knew what he had to do.

"I'm sorry..."

The words seemed inadequate even though they were heavy with meaning. Sorry for fucking Vaughn's wife, sorry for fucking up Vaughn's life, Heather's life, *his* life... sorry for betraying their friendship for a few minutes of sweaty, meaningless sex. Except it had never been meaningless, never just a simple diversion. Layers upon layers of reasons for his stupidity, for his betrayal of Vaughn and Heather weighed him down and, even though Vaughn told him it was not necessary to tell Heather, Bryan knew his marriage was over.

Now, as he sat on the edge of the hot tub with Steve and Jon propping Trev up in the heated water, watching Vaughn burn the elk chair - that last symbol of his domineering father - Bryan knew he had decisions to make. Being with Heather had set him on this destructive path. He needed to admit his guilt to her and to himself. He needed to accept that his so-called perfect marriage was based on a bed of lies. He needed to walk away from her while he still had a small shred of dignity left to him. Vaughn said he should strive to be a better person and part of that would be letting go of all the shitty aspects of his life, letting go of the loveless marriage and the dead-end job that sapped all his spirit and threatened to shatter all his dreams. He might have left childhood behind a long time ago but those dreams were still hovering just within his grasp. All he had to do was reach for them.

Bryan's eyes drifted across from the burning chair to the man who had been his best friend since what seemed like forever. Their eyes met and a new understanding formed between them as the bond of friendship that he believed shredded beyond repair began to mend, though Bryan was not foolish enough to believe that the events of the past days would be so easily forgotten. Still, it gave him hope. Bryan looked back at Jon, Steve and Trev and he saw the friendship of their past reforming, burying the last vestiges of childhood innocence and yet, it seemed stronger for it. Perhaps strong enough to last a lifetime.

END


End file.
